KEEPING THE PEACE AT THE THANKSGIVING GATHERING

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KEEPING THE PEACE AT THE THANKSGIVING GATHERING


By Carole Tanzer Miller HealthDay Reporter



Politics, especially the 2024 elections, can quickly turn the family Thanksgiving table into a battleground.

Steering clear of hot-button topics will not only help a big meal go down easier, but it also has health benefits.


Keeping the peace prevents a surge of fight-or-flight hormones that can disrupt sleep and cause headaches, inflammation, and even shortness of breath, according to UT Southwestern colleagues Cameron Davis, an assistant professor of psychiatry, and Sarah Woods, vice chair of research in the Department of Family and Community Medicine.

They assure people that staying calm and enjoying this Thanksgiving is possible, even in a divided house.


Here are their do's and dont's for reducing stress this Thanksgiving:


Communicate respectfully: Avoid personal attacks and keep the conversation focused on facts and objectives. Be assertive, not aggressive.


Don't feel pressured to engage in emotionally charged talk: Politely state your desire not to participate in political discussions -- or change the topic. Don't push family members' buttons.


Be prepared: Practice how you will handle it if the conversation gets stressful and how you'll behave toward individuals.


Don't pressure others into a debate or insist they agree with your views: Focus on fostering respectful dialogue. Asking for permission or gauging others' willingness to discuss a topic can help avoid tense encounters. In charged conversations, remember: The goal is not to "win" but to foster understanding and maintain respect.


Do listen actively: Be attentive when discussing a political topic. Focus on truly understanding the other person's perspective and respond thoughtfully to reflect your values and understanding. Active listening is a sign of openness and paves the way for more positive, meaningful exchanges.


Don't lose sight of your values: The temptation to think in "all-or-nothing terms" can be substantial. If family relationships matter to you, focus on keeping your connections with loved ones, not politics.


Do have a plan: Know how you will respond to uneasy discussions and ensure you and your spouse are on the same page ahead of time. Consider having a strategy—even a signal like a touch on the shoulder or wink—to let your partner know you need his or her help or want to leave. Identify folks you can be open with during the holidays and beyond to provide a buffer.

Finally, think about the long-term consequences, Davis and Woods advise.


"Families are for longer than today -- even if we're estranged," they pointed out in a UT Southwestern news release. "Ask yourself: Is this a conversation I want to lose this relationship over? … Which hills am I willing to let relationships die on?"


Remember, Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for the goodness in your life.


Enjoy the holidays!

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